BOAZ BOB'S BLOGSPOT: LETS BE PROLIFERS

BOAZ BOB'S BLOGSPOT: LETS BE PROLIFERS: Its a new day in the life of a varsity girl. The question is, are you happy about killing a baby? Not every woman is happy about killing her...

PHOTOSTORY

Life cycle of a campus lady.

TRIBALISM IS FOR FAILURES

So VC’s in public universities across the country had their undies in a bunch this week thanks to one NCIC Chairman. The storm in a teacup, as one of the dons observed, was as a result of a report by the hate speech-ometer which suggested that public universities were tribal. According to the VC’s, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Yet out of 15 institutions surveyed, 10 had the majority of their staff coming from the same ethnic community as the Vice-Chancellor or Principal. The audacity! But whose fault is it? After all, Kenya is known to be a highly ethnicized country where resources are allocated by proximity. Proximity to the said resources, proximity to power and proximity to an M-Pesa in case you need to chota, these are the real determinants of who gets what. Anyone who thinks otherwise has obviously never tarmacked.
In which case it would therefore appear that ethnicity may not be the most accurate unit of faulting efficiency and accountability within our corridors of learning. While ethnicity is a key element of consideration, there is a lot more that goes into defining the constituents of a given University community than tribal affiliation.
Take Egerton University for instance. Whereas Kibunjia and his team gave the institution a clean bill of health with regard to ethnic balancing, the emerging culture in the main campus seems to tell a different story. That of Nyerism. Apparently there have been increased cases of male battering in the Njoro based campus as hapless male students endure the wrath of their female counterparts within the halls of residence. Incidentally, the culprits are not exclusively from Central Kenya. Perhaps Mr. Patriot the NCIC patriarch should unravel that puzzle.
On the other hand, Moi University is reportedly comprised of Kalenjins in majority with 55% of the staff population coming from the community. It would therefore be expected that Kalenjins would be frontrunners (pun intended) for crucial positions in the institution yet it was one Dennis Wanjohi and Eva Ng’ang’a who clinched the Mr & Miss Moi University title held recently in the campus. Or could it be that perhaps the conspiracy stems deeper than the Cohesion Commission could dig?
Kenya Polytechnic University College students recently made the headlines for all the wrong reasons after the students ran amok causing havoc in the streets of Nairobi because someone forgot to change their diapers. The aggression that characterized the episode could only be attributed to a healthy diet which would be expected if the same were happening in MMUST or Maseno where the locals, who have reportedly monopolized all sectors in the institution, are well known for the same. Or so they say.
Under these circumstances, USIU’s just concluded culture week provides the most suitable conclusion on the subject. For the better part of this week, it was all about Maasai culture, Indian cuisine, Nigerians, Tanzanians, Arabs, Somalis and what have you all rolled into one big party hosted at Club Tortilaz.
So you see, it’ very easy to use tribalism and ethnicity to blame or defend whenever one is wrong or wronged but the fact is, our ethnicities are not the problem. It is our unique failure to play our designated roles based on what is expected of us that derails the functionality of the whole. Our differences are to be embraced in order to serve a meaningful purpose in the grand scheme of things. How do you think we got into the mess we are in in the first place?

Does tribalism exist in your campus?

GRADUATION SPEECH

Greetings. First and foremost, congratulations are in order. It’s been a long and arduous journey but you’ve finally reached the ultimate destination, joblessness.
Without a doubt, you all have had to overcome a myriad of challenges in your pursuit of academic excellence; the acres of microscopic mwakenya scripts, the adaptive hawk-eyed espionage skills acquired in the exam room, the telepathic exchange of questions and their respective answers, it would be a shame not to acknowledge these steadfast and dedicated efforts you have made in your quest to scale new heights in the field of academia.
As you relish this joyous reward for your tireless labour, take a moment to think through the moments that defined your life as a comrade. Cherish the reckless sexcapades and uninhibited intoxication. Remember the intense stone-teargas exchanges and subsequent free for all’s. Forget not the bland yet pocket friendly menu’s of the mess and the punitive bug-ridden beds in the halls of residence.
Look towards the future where good times abound. No assignments. No term papers. No endless projects and condescending know-it-all professors to contend with. Gone are the days of impromptu CAT’s and snooze inspiring lab classes.
Step into this new chapter of your lives with all the energy of your youth. Lord knows you’ll need it for the back breaking toil that awaits you. The truth is, there really aren’t enough jobs out there to accommodate all of you. Some of you will get fancy jobs in multinationals. Some of you will settle for the most frustrating paycheck on the table. Others will leave campus and go on to become persons of repute in the society while there are those who will simply waste away. It’s all out there for you.
So for today, dance the happy tunes with your folk. Pop the champagne and bring out the feast to commemorate this momentous occasion. Bathe in the sea of praise that will characterize the infinite speeches punctuated with repetitive anecdotes. Be happy.
But let no one cheat you, this ride is far from over. There will be plenty winding turns and sudden bumps. There are no signposts in this road. Just a lot of uncertainty. And bad instructors. But if you look closely, there should be a dim flicker of light at the very far end of the pitch black tunnel. Can’t see it? Well imagine it then because in these times one needs hope to keep going.
Otherwise, congratulations on making it to the real world. You should probably hit the ground running. Or as they say in these parts, hit the tarmac.
Cheers.

LETTER TO ALL FIRST YEARS

Hello KCSE class of 2013. You must be a lucky group to be joining campus this soon, barely ten months after you graduated from high school.

Kudos to the Ministry of Higher Education. I know by now, scores of people have probably dished out tonnes of advice to you, but allow me to throw in my mercurial nugget of wisdom into the broth. I hope it will taste right for you.

Freshman, as you join campus, please bear in mind that you’re coming here to study. After all, that is why you are in college in the first place.

All other activities should come secondary to academics. If at all you want to come out of the institution with a degree, then this is not the time to start partying all night and sleeping all day.

Attend class. Sounds obvious, right? Until you discover how tempting it is to sleep in and skip that 8 a.m. class. Avoid this temptation. Avoid it like the plague. Bear in mind that this isn’t high school where bells and teachers are on hand to monitor your every move.

Get involved in campus. Join a club or organisation. It will not only develop your social skills and interaction but will also keep you busy. Make as many friends as possible. Believe me, you will need them.

You are probably excited by the fact that you get to manage your own money. Be aware that with that freedom, comes a responsibility. Otherwise, you will soon be acquainted with the meaning of the phrase, easy come, easy go. You do not want to get there.

It may sound cliché, but please stay away from drugs and alcohol. Or at least try. Okay, keep it at a minimum. Being cool does not entail drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney. Thank me later on this one.

In conclusion, stay true to yourself and uphold the values with which your parents/guardians brought you up on. You will experience a lot of peer pressure, and the temptation to engage in things that are not right will arise. Always refer to your understanding of right and wrong, even if others do not subscribe to it.
Wishing you success and good times as you embark on this exciting new chapter in life.
Sincerely,
Boaz Bob
Moi University, Third Year

INSURE YOUR VALUABLES COMRADES

A new insurance package targeting university students is in the works as a Kenyan insurance company prepares to launch a new product that will insure comrades’ laptops against theft and physical damage. Given the alarming cases of laptop theft in campus, this is certainly music to many a comrades’ ears.
While we’re at it, why not then introduce even more student friendly packages that will specifically cater to the needs of students. To begin with, how about a product for mwakenya’s? No seriously! After all the painstaking efforts that go into condensing a semester’s worth of lectures and notes into the pocket friendly lifesaver, isn’t it painful when you accidentally misplace it? Even worse if someone lifts it from you. With the surging demand for the commodity in the student market, it should certainly be among the first things you would want to secure as a comrade.
Second up should be condom dispensers. This would not only be of benefit to the students but the administration as well. Among the greatest mysteries of the world is why condom dispensers in campus are always battered and mangled. The most logical explanation would be that they are frequently recepients of extreme physical abuse from frustrated comrades who fuel their testosterone towards the empty dispensers upon discovery that they will not be getting any.
Coils. If those gadgets could speak they would tell harrowing tales of their experiences at the hands of comrades. Especially so for the male students. Tales of naked wires plugged into naked sockets because two hundred bob to buy a plug and a socket just isn’t economically feasible. Of githeri boiled all Sunday afternoon because electricity is free courtesy of JAB (isn’t it?). Of shot circuits and temperamental circuit blockers that have resulted in floor by floor cooking schedules in the halls of residence. Oh, they would tell stories!
An insurance package for sugar daddies would also be worth considering wouldn’t it ladies? Because how would a female comrade survive for an entire fifteen weeks with a broke boyfriend? What with all the make-up and shoes to buy. And the girlfriends to impress. And clothes? And going out? Not going to happen!
But most importantly, the most importantly, there is that one possession that each and every comrade holds most dear. Their HELB loan. Therein lies the secret to success. Whichever insurer that offers to ensure that HELB coffers never run dry will have discovered the secret to eternal happiness. So fellows, please devise a package for this will you?
Or maybe we can all just live with our misfortunes like everyone else.

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Let’s kick this one off with an anecdote, shall we. A group of comrades were hanging out in their hostel one evening when of them suggested they take the fun times a notch higher and hit the club. Seeing as it was rather late into the night, one student dismissed the idea observing that it was too late and besides, he argued, they had had enough partying for one night. Seeing that he wasn’t going to have his way this time, the proposer threw a tantrum making it clear to the rest of the group that as a Medicine student, he had veto over any decisions that needed to be made and the rest would be well advised to heed his will. Everything went downhill thereafter.
While the implication that some students/graduates are more important than others seems rather insensitive, a recent report by the Center on Education and the Workforce in the US published by Forbes Magazine suggests that indeed, some courses -and by extension graduates- are more valuable and important than others.
According to the study, one’s choice of course substantially affects their employment prospects and earnings. As the worst affected courses, Anthropology and Archeology students in the US face a 10.5% unemployment rate with an average annual salary of only $28,000 compared to $58,000 for Mechanical Engineers. As a matter of fact, the least in-demand and lowest earning courses in the US fall under arts and humanities and include film, fine arts, and philosophy & religious studies.
The study further points out that “most young people in college [and university] take whatever interests them, without thinking what it can really do for them.”
In Kenya, when it comes to choosing degree courses, many people go for the most popular courses simply because it is widely believed that chances of getting employed after pursuing a popular course are high. Commerce, Law and Bachelor of Arts courses have proven to be widely popular with high school levers signing up for the degrees in droves.
The dynamics of the Kenyan job market paint a totally different picture from the prevailing scenario in the US but the truth is, most university entrants mostly only consider accessibility of the courses as opposed to the demand for such skills in the job market. Some degree of blame must also fall on the Joint Admission’s Board which has often been accused of admitting students for degree courses they hadn’t even applied for on account of limited availability of certain courses.

YEARLY STARTER KITS FOR COMRADES

So it’s back to campus this week for most comrades after what must have been an activity filled holiday. Hard as it may be to accept, it’s an inescapable reality. But at least this time around, there’s something to look forward to with the dawn of the new year. Cliched as it may sound, every new year brings with it a simmering sense of promise more so for campuserians (well, any student really) as we edge ever closer to accomplishing the painstaking yet rewarding task of completing studies. Well, here’s a few tips that may come in handy this year as you trudge towards that seemingly distant goal.
Lectures are to be attended. However laborious it may seem the rewards that come with actually attending classes can never be overemphasized. Just refer to your most recent transcript for evidence. Yeah, it sucks to admit that parents and lecturers are actually right but the only way to justify the four (give or take) years spent on campus is by actually having learnt something by the time you leave the place. And how do you learn? There you go!
Network. Unlike high school, there’s no other platform to redeem yourself after campus. It’s the final frontier. Beyond it lies only one thing; life. That’s why it’s probably a good idea to be well prepared for it as you approach the final stretch. Sure, learning is key to accomplishing this but one of the most significant take-home’s from campus will be the relationships you develop while there. Be it classmates, roommates, lecturers, potential employers, heck even godfathers. The relationships you build in campus will be the extra ammo you’ll need after you ‘step out’. And best believe you will need it.
Any comrade worth the name will tell you that the measure of how good or bad a semester was is the number of kick ass parties you attended. What? It’s like the 753¼ ^th rule of comradeship! Granted, campus memories are made of such. So by all means, indulge. Besides, the world does not revolve around the library. It’s okay to venture a little bit but be wary not to lose your footing while at it. These be murky streets. You don’t want to miss out on the campus experience and end up club hopping on a walking stick in your twilight years but at the same time…you know how that one ends.
For heaven’s sake get hitched! You don’t have to get married or anything but at least make an attempt at sustaining a relationship for longer than a cab ride from the club. It may sound old fashioned but when you’re folks start hounding you on graduation day about what you brought home besides that ‘piece of paper’ it won’t be so funny. Besides, it’s campus, you’re literally spoilt for choice.
Now off with yourselves.